for the first time in a long time ,

i got butterflies around you
&it was just the other day .

being the preacher's daughter ,

has got to be the hardest thing ever .

you have all these different expectations to meet ,

and all these people just waiting to condemn you

for whatever little mistake you make .

not mention everyone is judging you all the time ,

like you're supposed to be perfect or something .

you constantly have people looking up to you

&looking down on you for whatever reason .

but its like a stereotype ;

read this :

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Preacher

im pretty much the 2nd stereotype ,

but not all the time .

oh another thing is , the preacher man himself ;

he's so caught up in his job ,

the church is his life .

&not even in a good way .

its not like the whole christian concept is his life ,

its like the politics &system of the church .

its weird , and my mom was pulled into it a long time ago .

my parents dont really have any true friends

[i guess thats what you call them] ,

they just mingle with church people .

thats why i had to move to denham springs ,

my dad was appointed to a new church .

my old church was pretty great

but i cant stand this church honestly .

anyway , back to family matters ;

my sisters...

of course my oldest sister is like the 1st stereotype

&my older sister is definitely the 2nd one .

but i would like to break the stereotype ,

idk how but , i dont want people to automatically

think of me being like holier than thou

or a complete rebel , when they hear the words :

"preacher's daughter"

Katy Perry was a preacher's daughter too

&Jessica Simpson .

haha it pisses me off !

i know its pretty fcked uhppp ,

but i miss you .

welll ,

im getting tired of people judging me .
there's only one person who knows what im going through ,
everyday & its been this way for a while now .
that one person is God , so he's the only person who can judge me .
i always have wayyy too much on my mind ,
my weight is going back and forth constantly .
i cant trust anyone anymore , thanks to a certain person .
& my family. . . its like living on a rollercoaster in hell .
im not so sure what to believe about love anymore ;
but thats not for the reason your probably thinking about .
see thats the problem , everyone thinks they know what im talking about & what my problem revolves around .
when the reality is , you have no idea , none of you do .
life in ponchatoula was so much simpler .
i can tell there are people here who do actually care though .
ughh , trying to explain this is almost too much so im stopping here ,
just for now .

you are such a bad liar .

"And instead of saying all of your goodbyes,
let them know you realize that life goes fast
It's hard to make the good things last
You realize the sun doesn't go down
It's just an illusion caused by
the world spinning round"

asdfghjkl;

today sucked ,
you didn't talk to me .